Surviving depression, postpartum depression & anxiety

Let me start off by saying, that it feels so good to share this with you. Let me rephrase that…it feels DAMN GOOD!! Ok so now that I’ve got that out the way, I want to talk about depression and anxiety…I will leave postpartum depression for last.

Like many, my childhood wasn’t that great, I’m over it and I don’t blame my mom who didn’t really care to be in my life or my dad who was very strict that he kept me locked away from the world. I’ve learned that our parents only do what they were taught and most do care and are really doing their very best…even if we don’t see it or feel it. So forgive your parents for not understanding what you need when you needed it. And if you have children, try your best to listen and learn to know them before they grow into adults.

Being isolated, can’t have friends over or phone calls especially when you’re in highschool, would make anyone depressed. !!WARNING!! When you lock your child away, it will drive them crazy!! They either rebel and do exactly what you don’t want them to do, or they become antisocial. Well I started telling myself, that I needed love, no one loves me and I need to feel some kind of love. I started dating as a young teenager and fell in so called love with everyone that I dated and got my heart broken everytime. I would think to myself, that I’m not good enough, what’s wrong with me, why doesn’t anyone care about me? I was depressed and felt like I didn’t deserve happiness, I didn’t deserve love. I was so caring and always said yes trying to help everyone and it never failed…I got stabbed in the back everytime, by family members and so called friends. No matter what I did, it was never enough and when I finally started to grow thicker skin and toughing up, they would somehow find me and pull the rug from under my feet all over again.

I grew up very fast, well I had no choice after having my first child at 17. It was tough and very scary, but I knew that it was time for me to be a woman and a great mother to my child. Especially that I wasn’t close to my mom. As time passed, I started to notice that I’m in a isolated situation all over again. I was going to work and going home, I didn’t have any friends or close relative other than my dad that helped me when he could. After paying rent, gas bill, light bill, food, phone and cable…I had no money left to pay a babysitter for me to go anywhere other than work. How did I get stuck in a isolated situation all over again. It’s funny that the things that you’re trying to resist…finds you. So as my isolation continues my depression continued and here comes anxiety. For years, everyday, it was work, home, work, home and more work, then home again. I walked and took the bus everywhere and I didn’t feel safe, because of my environment and also my anxiety. I started feeling like someone wanted to kill me. Like I would literally look behind me feeling like something was chasing me but somehow never caught me… it’s an uneasy feeling and believe it or not, I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me. It wasn’t untill recently, I saw some simptoms of anxiety and I said to myself “holy shit” that’s how I used to feel!!

Ok moving on to postpartum depression. This too I didn’t know what it was, until I actually googled my symptoms while experiencing it. Let me just take a moment to say GOD iS GOOD!! Ok, I didn’t experience anything like postpartum with my first child, this was new to me. I was literally experiencing HELL on earth!! I mean WOW!! I still feel chills thinking about this.

I was pregnant with my second son, oh so happy and excited. Yes of course still had a little depression going on from the past but being the person that I am, it was easy to make me happy. I’ve never had much and never needed much to feel good, despite my struggles I was always trying to find my way to happiness. One day I started getting terrible thoughts I mean disgusting and I felt evil. I saw and heard terrible things that scared the living hell out of me. I fought everyday of my life for a year straight. There was no one to talk to, plus I didn’t want to scare anyone. I begged God to get me through this without hurting anyone or myself and he loves me so much, that he granted my wish. I get so emotional when I talk about this…I’m so blessed and highly favored for being here and sharing this with you. 😢💗👼💫👼

I didn’t take any medication because I didn’t tell anyone, truthfully I don’t know if it makes it better or worse, everyone’s body is different. I will say to talk to your doctor and get the help that you need, do what’s best for you.

Having such a near death experience made me fearless!! Like seriously, if I can get through this, I can get through anything!!

If I can do it, then you can do it!! You must face your fears head-on. If it doesn’t KILL you…it will make you UNSTOPPABLE…just like me.

Some would be ashamed to talk about their struggles…but not me…I’m proud to share it with you because I know that it WILL HELP YOU!! Thank you for your time 💕

Your’s Truly -Nickesha Lovelace 💖

Visit: My Motivating Page (NMQ)

Follow & Listen To My Inspirational Messages

 

Stop Self-pitying

There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings, telling your life story or talking about your problems. However, there is a huge problem, when you start heading down the self-pity road. Some may say, “well I’m hurt and I’m just talking about my feelings,” but what they don’t understand, is that they are wasting time talking and spending zero time fixing their problems. If you’re spending almost everyday, complaining, nothing will change!! You must hold yourself accountable and take control of your life. You are not responsible for anyone else’s actions, but you ARE responsible for your own actions!! I am so tired of people playing the blame game. YES, I get it, people hurt you and this shouldn’t happen, don’t focus on that, instead, focus on getting them out of your life, focus on keeping your distance and protecting yourself from being hurt again. Why is it so hard to hold yourself accountable. If you are allowing someone to hurt you over and over again, I’m sorry to say this, but You are a part of the problem. STOP giving unlimited chances to people who don’t even deserve to be in your presence!! Stop complaining about something, that you’re doing nothing to change or fix…just STOP!! You are setting yourself up for FAILURE and you are KILLING your own self-esteem. Please, I am begging you, to stop Self-pitying and start holding yourself accountable and make some REAL changes in your LIFE.

We all have problems and we’ve all been hurt, one way or another, by family, friends…you name it. But replaying it over and over again in your mind is only making you sink deeper and deeper into depression. Once again, you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, worthless and just can’t get anything right. The negative mind chatter creeps in and it’s self defeat all over again.

Do what it takes to express your feelings, because it will kill you to keep everything bottled up inside, but please LET IT GO. Release your feelings by talking to someone that you trust or writing in a journal. Once you let those feelings out, you must find ways to recover, do what you can to move on with your life. Remember, that self-pitying doesn’t help you to get over your problems, it only makes it worse. Always find a positive way to get through whatever you’re dealing with and know that you can take control of your life anytime… it’s all up to you to make that choice. Stop Self-pitying (Listening Session)

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💖Nickesha Lovelace💖

Don’t Mistake Good Sex For 💕 Love 💕

Ok…let me start by saying, that I am no sex expert or therapist. I’m simply using my wisdom, knowledge and understanding, to bring awareness to all.

Say for instance, you’re dating, in a relationship or married to someone. Your sex life is amazing, everything feels so right when you’re doing anything pertaining to sex. You tell each other I Love You, You’re So Sexy, You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me…and the list goes on and on. Now it’s time to get serious, you want to plan things together, you need help with certain things that requires your partners full attention and sometimes you just want to vent and get some support, from the person who say that they love you more than life itself.

Wait for it…and nothing happens, they are always busy when you need them for anything other than sex. What in the world is going on in this person’s mind? Well this is what you needed to sit and talk about before you get too serious. When you assume or take someone’s word, that’s a scary and uneasy life to live. You must be careful and watch their actions and make sure that it matches what they say. If someone say I love you, but don’t care about your feelings, that shows that they will lie to get what they want and don’t give a damn if you’re hurt…it’s all about them. Please be careful who you get involved with, not to mention have children with, they will use anything to get their way with you.

With all that being said, whoever you’re dealing with, always be sure to connect with them on a deeper level. Don’t let anyone trick you into having sex with them, using the “I Love You” line. Forget about words and focus on actions. Now take care of yourself and be sure to love all of you, before you give anyone your body or let anyone into your 💓 heart 💓 Mistaking Good Sex For Love (Listening Session)

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🌷Nickesha Lovelace🌷

If it’s not working out, stop trying to work it out !!

• 

If it’s not working out, then stop trying to work it out.

2 Examples: Job & Relationship

Dead-End Job

Most stay at a job, for a very long time for the money, insurance or both. No matter how much you get paid, it’s never gonna be enough, because you’re always gonna feel like something is missing. I know this, because I’ve been there. I was good at my job, I was great with customers…but there was a void in my life, that needed to be filled. Now, most find things to fill their void temporarily…partying, sex, shopping etc. But I knew, that I needed a permanent fix. I needed to Find My Passion & Make It Happen!! Believe it or not, I would be at work and would steal some time to hop on my Motivating Page  Nicky’s Motivating Quotes (NMQ)   just to write a quote or positive message. That’s how I knew, that I didn’t need to search no more…I have found my passion. It’s been three years now, since I’ve left that job and I’ve never looked back. I’m happy with my life and I get to put in more time with my kids. Life is too short, to be sitting around, settling for a job that you’re not passionate about. I know that it’s hard and trust me, no one has it easy… everyone have struggles, but it’s time for you to make some changes in your life. If you have to work at a crappy job for a little while longer, then do that…just find your passion and pursue your dreams, while you’re at it. You can, if you allow yourself to, please get out of your own way. Find your passion & make it happen (Listening Session)

Relationship: Friends/Partner

We all have a friend or friends that we keep in touch with, some longer than others. Sometimes, things happen or people change and there’s not much that you can do to fix the situation. You’ll find out, that you’re not as close to your friends, as you’d like and they don’t really care. Well, as long as you do your part, by reaching out and showing them that you care. Then you give it some time for them to show you some love. Now, if nothing happens and all you can hear is crickets…from their end …you know what time it is. Keep your distance or let it go completely.

Now, let’s talk about a romantic relationship. You’ve been with this person for a while and you’ve had your ups and downs…but recently there have been far more downs and you can’t even remember the happy times. Something’s got to give!! You’re either gonna work it out and accept everything about each other or call it quits!! Stop arguing for once, sit down like adults and talk to each other. Express your true feelings, no sugar-coating. Get counseling, do what it takes to understand each other.

If you’ve tried EVERYTHING and your relationship is still heading on a down hill slope, then you have no choice, but to let it go. Move on and get some peace in your life. Everyone deserves happiness and if you can’t be happy together, you’re gonna have to be happy separately. I know, it’s hard, especially when you have kids and so much time put into the relationship, but ask yourself this question, “Do I Want To Spend The Rest Of My Life With This Person?”

Before you jump and say “yes” stop and think for a second and be sure that you’re not creating a beautiful version of this person, that doesn’t really exist. Yes, you must see the best in others at all times, but that doesn’t mean, that you should close your eyes when they show you their ugly side. Keep in mind, that when you’re in a relationship, it’s a partnership and it’s a give and take situation on both ends…not just give or take. So with that being said, if your relationship scale is feeling unbalanced or unfixable… it’s time to admit to yourself, that it’s not working out. Stop Trying To Work It Out (Listening Session)

– Nickesha Lovelace 💖

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes

 

 

 

If you’re doing it, don’t deny it!!

If you’re doing it, then don’t deny it. I have plenty of people attacking me on social media, everytime I share this message. I get it and I know that it’s hard for many to own their mistskes and their flaws period. I am here to spread awareness, I am here to make a difference. I will continue to be the mirror for many, even if it hurts when you read or listen to my messages…you know deep down inside, that it’s the truth and you need to hear it.

Are You Doing Something That You Are Ashamed Of ?

There are plenty of things, that people do, but are ashamed to admit to others.

5 Things That People Lie About

1. Place of employment (job title/position)

2.Their status- (single/married).

3. Sex- (celibate, gay, bisexual, cheating, also obsessive porn, being a sex addict.

4. Money- ( how much they make/have) spending habits.

5. Addictions – (shopping, gambling, drugs, alcohol etc.)

Ok… I just named a few things that came to mind. I’m sure that there’s more, but you get my drift. Now, if you are willingly doing something, you must own it. If you don’t want to own it…then what’s the sense of doing it? That’s something you must ask yourself. People tend to hide things, that they are ashamed of. This can’t be a good feeling, waking up everyday carrying a burden. It’s time to set yourself free, by getting out of the dark and admitting your wrongs once and for all. Get the help that you need, you don’t have to go through this alone. If not, just stop, right here, right now…be true to yourself… it’s not too late. You deserve to live your life in peace and it all starts with knowing and accepting who you are. If you’re doing it, don’t deny it (Listening Session)

– Nickesha Lovelace 🌷🌺🌻

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes

 

 

 

 

If you like it, don’t fight it!!

If you like it, then don’t fight it. What do you really like? What are you passionate about? That thing, that you think about, every single time, when you are alone…is worth pursuing. Or maybe it’s NOT and that’s why you keep on procrastinating and can’t find your way to get things going. Well, let me say this…if you really like something and you can’t stop thinking about it, no matter what you do… it’s TIME!! It’s time for you to cut the shit…gain some courage and start living your dreams!! Don’t listen to those who have no dreams, no passion and don’t even care about life itself. You are a dreamer and you CAN make your wildest DREAMS come true!! You can and you WILL!! No more complaining, no more excuses…just use what you have right now, to pursue your passion. Keep in mind, that nothing happens overnight, everything takes time. Be patient with yourself and always leave room for improvement. If you haven’t found your passion as yet, don’t be afraid to try something new, there’s so much to explore, there’s so much to learn. Keep an open mind and don’t let anything get in the way of your dreams…not even you.  If you like it, don’t fight it (Listening Session)

🌹 Nickesha Lovelace 🌹

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes

If you don’t mean it, don’t say it!!

If you don’t mean it, then don’t say it. I know, it’s easier said than done…but it is very necessary for everyone to keep in mind at all times.

Example 1 – Argument or Debate

When you are arguing or debating with someone, it’s very easy to say something hurtful or startling, to get the other person’s attention. It’s not right, but you will do anything to get your point across. It’s time to take a step back, analyze the situation and figure out your best approach. You might not mean to say those hurtful things, but it doesn’t matter…once it’s all said and done, those words stick and can stay with someone for a very long time. Be careful and be sure to make it a practice, to always think before you speak.

Example 2- Being A People Pleaser

Saying yes when you mean no and saying no when you really mean yes. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling’s so you do whatever it takes to make sure that everyone is happy. The only problem is…you are unhappy and no one is there for you, because everyone thinks that you’re doing just fine. Stop Pretending, show your true feelings and don’t be afraid to disappoint anyone. You are only human, you have needs just like everyone else. You are important and your feelings matter. No one is perfect and you don’t need to be…just try your best to think before you speak and at the same time, stand up for yourself. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it (Listening Session)

Your’s Truly – Nickesha Lovelace💖

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes

Angel 👼save yourself

An angel came to visit me, on a dark stormy night, she told me that one day, I won’t ever have to fight, through all of the darkness, she became my light… fought all of my battles, yea she was my knight…I begged her to never leave me, keep holding me tight, she smiled and said believe me, I’ll always be in sight. She said, look into the mirror, whenever you want me to appear, I stood there for a second and I started to stare…I couldn’t see this beautiful angel anywhere near…right before I lost hope, my vision was clear…the angel was ME all along, I just wasn’t aware…I JUST WASN’T AWARE!! Angel -save yourself- (Listening Session)

You are an angel and you need to save yourself. Stop waiting for someone to come and save you, stop waiting for someone to show you the way. Create your own way, you have the power to build the life that you’ve always dreamed of. It’s all up to you, find the strength that’s already inside of you and do what it takes to get out or get through, whatever bad situation you are in. YOU CAN DO THIS!! I’m speaking from my own personal experience. I’ve battled depression, anxiety and postpartum depression which was the toughest one of all…but I got through it and believe it or not, I did it alone, isolated with no help from anyone. After being sad for so many years, I created a way to get my feelings and thoughts out of my head…and that’s when I started writing my beautiful quotes and positive messages. By helping other’s I also help myself. I want you to make a decision right now!! To find a way..your way back to happiness. Whatever it is that you love to do…keep on doing it and don’t stop. If you haven’t found your passion, go out and explore, try new things…your passion is waiting to be discovered. Now take care of yourself and always remember, that you are an ANGEL and you can SAVE YOURSELF!!

NickeshaLovelace 👼🌹

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes

It’s Ok To Be Alone

Just because you are alone, doesn’t necessarily mean, that you are… or should be lonely. Too many people are attached to everything and everyone, that they don’t get a chance to bond with themselves. It’s time to make it your first priority,  to get to know yourself. Take a few moments to yourself each day and sit quietly. Give yourself time to think, without stressing. Think about your reactions towards others. Question yourself about the things that you  like and don’t like. Think about your goals in life. Think about your past mistakes and figure out if you’re still making them. There is so much to learn about yourself and you will never stop learning, because you will continue to change and improve yourself each day. This is why you need to take time to yourself, to steer yourself in the right direction and get back on track. Sometimes there is chaos going on around you and that causes problems on the outside and also on the inside. You must do whatever it takes to keep your life simple. The more you bond with yourself, is the more independent you will be. At the end of the day, you’ve got your back and you are the only one who can stop yourself from being happy. Start making your own choices, don’t wait for anyone to give you permission or validate you. Learn to stand on your own two feet, be strong and know that it’s ok to be alone.

– Nickesha Lovelace 💖

It’s ok to be alone (Listening Session)

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Take A Great Leap

Take a great leap, you may fall on your face or simply land on your feet…you’ll never find out by sitting in your seat. Get up!! Set yourself FREE, before you permanently fall asleep.

Take A Great Leap ( Listening Session)

You must take a leap, give yourself a chance to face your fears. You will never know, how life will turn out, if you don’t try. Don’t just stand still and let the years go by. Take risks, you either do great or you learn. It’s ok to make mistakes, it’s ok to not get things right, the first, second or third try. Be free and own your flaws, own your struggles and don’t hesitate to take a great leap.

– Nickesha Lovelace 🌷

Fb NMQ- Nicky’s Motivating Quotes